Chatting with the Akatsuki
by xXKaira-HimeXx
Summary: It all started on a normal day and a normal girl -pause- Oh hell, who am i kidding. This ain't normal. Pein pop out of know where, then Pikachu and then the REST of the Akatsuki! What else! And the girl, is she even normal at all? And her friend/sidekic?
1. Chapter 1

This story is called:

**Chatting with the Akatsuki **

Why? Because they need some love that why!!!...plus it fun to torture them (evil laugh)

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**Chatting with the Akatsuki **

Chapter one

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Declaimer: I do NOT own anything from Naruto, Pokemon and any song that will pop up randomly unless it mind XD

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Kaira: -fan girl mode- O…M...F…G! (Squeal and glomped Pein)

Pein: (push_ crazy fan girl_ who just glomped him)

Kaira: (pouted) Heyyy...!!

Pein: (ignore Kaira) Where am I…Who are you?

Kaira: me...? (pause and think) I. AM. GOD!!! (Hallelujah back ground song)

Pein: …

Kaira: Now, you (point at Pein) must obey me!!! (Evil laugh)

Pein: oh really…

Kaira: Yeah really…

Pein: You and what army?

Kaira: THIS… (Throw a pokeball) Go, Pikachu! I chose YOU!!! (Pokemon opening song)

(Poof) (Smoke) (Clear)

Pein: (look down at a cute, adorable Pikachu) a yellow rat…?

Kaira: Yep! Yep! Yep! But you shouldn't have said that?

Pein: (look at Kaira) Yellow rat…?

Kaira: warn you so. (Take out popcorn from thin airs) Get ready…

Pein: Ready for what…? Hello??

Pikachu…Pikachuuu… (Look at Pein with its big adorable eyes innocently)

Kaira: AWE!!! (Clear throat) I mean, get set…

Pein…why bother. (Hear a growl? And look at the source) did it just growl! At ME!! (Point at Pikachu)

Pikachu: (growl and block the exit with rabbi coming out of its mouth…?)

Kaira: …O.o…

Pein: (look at Pikachu nervously.) Um…good boy…um I mean good girl…?

Pikachu: (leap at Pein)

Pein: (screamed as cute, innocent Pikachu attack him) GET THIS THING OFF OF ME!!!

Pikachu: (keep biting and attacking Pein)

Kaira: (look at the scene and shouted) STOP!!!

Pikachu: (stop and look at Kaira while half way chewing Pein's feet) Pikachuu?

Pein: (sigh in relief) Thank you (notice his feet is being chewed by the evil rabbi mouse—um I mean CUTE Pikachu) OW!!!

Kaira: (Look at Pein and Pikachu before heading into the living room and look over her shoulder) if you two want to kill each other, do it outside. I just clean the house.

Pikachu: (grin happily and mischievously) Pika! Pika! Pikachuuu!!! (Drag Pein by the ankle outside)

Pein: (Eyes widen in horror and turn white)

Pikachu: (slam the door shunt)

Pein: (from behind the close and lock door) N-N-N-NOOOOOOOO!!!! SAVE ME!!!!

("Save Me" by Remy Zero plays in the background….)

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END!!! Of chaptyy one…

And yes I know it suckyy…

**Reveiw** to find out what will happen to Pein...

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xXKaira-himeXx: Poor Pein -shook head- I feel for you man!!

Random guy: LEAVE ALREADY!!!

xXKaira-himeXx: -sniff- meanie--wait THIS is MY story. You leave!!!

Random guy: ... -kick the author out and slam the door shunt-

.....O.o.....


	2. Chapter 2

**

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**

Chatting with the Akatsuki

Chapter Two

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Disclaimer: I do NOT own anything about Naruto, Blues Clues

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My house aka Torture Zone

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**Living room**

Zetsu: (Randomly popped out of the ground—um floor) Hello…? (Saw a…is that Leader-sama?) Um…leader-sama…? Is that you?

Pein: (groan) …. (Roll over and fell limp with drools)

Pikachu: (went back inside the pokeball)

Zetsu: ….

Kaira: Hello!!! (Waves)

Zetsu: (look at Kaira) who are you? (Take out kunai after a pause) What did you do to Leader-sama?!

Kaira: (look at 'leader-sama' then at Zetsu) Me…I AM A GOD!!! (Hallelujah background song…again!!!) Plus, I didn't! A god could never hurt her own creations!!! A yellow rabbi mouse did!!!

Zetsu: ….no really…

Kaira: (anime tears) it trueeeeee!!! Seriously!!! Why would you believe me!!!

Random Guy: (look at Zetsu) it true!

Kaira: (stop crying) THANK YOU!!! Finally, someone believe me…--HEY!! I know you! (Point at random guy)

Random guy: No you don't…

Kaira: (in deep thought and look at the Random guy) hmm…are you sure?

Random Guy: (nervous) …yea—

Zetsu: (grab the Random guy and ate him whole and rubbed his stomach) yummy!!!

Kaira: ….O.o….did you just did what I think you did?!

Zetsu: (innocently) I don't know. What did you see me do?

Kaira: B-But (point to Zetsu's stomach) you ate him!

Zetsu: (innocently) I did…?

Kaira: (started to shake)

Zetsu: (look at Kaira) are…you…alright…?

Kaira: (burst happily) YAY!!! Zetsu ate the Random guy #1!!! (Hugged Zetsu)

Zetsu: ….

Kaira: he was sooooo taking your spotlight didn't he, huh!

Zetsu: …yeah…sure…

Kaira: (jumping up and down) Yay, me!!!! (claps)

**(Awkward silence excluding a jumping/clapping Kaira)**

Kaira:(still jumping up and down and clapping) umm… (point at Pein) OMG PEI—I MEAN LEADER-SAMA JUST WOKE UP!!!!

Zetsu: (turn around) where—

Kaira: (hold a pan up high and knocked Zetsu out) Yay, me!!! (claps)

Zetsu: ….

Kaira: …it didn't work...?

Zetsu: …no…

Kaira: (teary) Waaaahhhh!!!! It didn't work!!! (Frowned) Hmp! Stupid flying pan!!! (Throw pan)

Pein: (woke up groggily) Huh? (Saw Zetsu) Oh, Zetsu!!! You're here to save me. Thank god— (saw a flying pan coming at him) oh God, no… (Got knock out)

Kaira: (happily) you're welcome!!!...no, what…?

Zetsu: …. are you seriously okay?

Kaira: (smile) Dandy...! Handy! The Handy Notebook!!! (Blue clue handy notebook theme song thingy as a the background)

Zetsu: …you worst than Tobi…

Kaira: (imitating blue clue the dog) blues clues?

END CHAPTER TWO….

Yeah…This sucks...!

NO FLAMES

xXKaira-himeXx: Review people!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chatting with the Akatsuki **

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Chapter Three

Disclaimer: I do NOT own anything from Naruto, Heroes, the Parkers and Alice's Adventure in Wonderland or SADLY my Best Friend Suki T.T She own herself T3T

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**Torture Zone**

(Living room)

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Pein: (focusing all attention on tea) (mumbles) blow blow blow (blow tea three times) sip (sip tea) aahhh! (Sipping tea Pein's style)

Konan: (she came out of no where) (sipping tea and reading magazine)

Zetsu: …

Pein: what?

Zetsu: I won't even ask

Pein: (happy mode) (put cup down) will if you insisted…

Zetsu: I didn't

Pein: (ignore Zetsu) It all started….

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**(Flash back mode) **

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Pein: … (Glared at konan) why do I have to do this?

Konan: (pour Pein tea) It breaks time, means tea time. So stop glaring.

Pein: Yes, I know that! (point to himself) BUT why do I have to wear this!

Konan: (sipped tea lady-like) aahhh! (Look at Pein) You look divine.

Pein: (twitch) a brat thought I was her parent.

Konan: (smile) Awe! You do make a great father someday. (Day dream)

Pein: a mother. She mistakes me for her **MOTHER!!!!** (stood up and slam tea cup on the table)

Konan: (twitch) PE. IN. You did not just **SLAM** the **EXPENSIVE** tea cup on the **EXPENSIVE** table!!!! (Grab Pein by his collar and death glare him which killed him and brought him back to life) **YOU. WILL. WEAR. THE. OUTFIT. THAT. YOUR. MOTHER. SEND. YOU!!**

Pein: (pee on his outfit) Y-Yes d-dear (sit back down and drink tea lady-like)

Konan: (back to normal) (smile sweetly) see now that wasn't hard. (sipped tea)

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**(End flashback) **

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Pein: (shudder) worst tea time ever. (sipping tea Pein's style) And I thought shaving Aunt Paul's legs was worst.

Zetsu: … what does that have to do with anything?

Suki: (poof out of no where) Don't you mean Paula?

Three Akatuski member: (look at Suki) wth?

Kaira: (pop out of no where) No. It AUNT Paul and there UNCLE Paula.

Zetsu: Where did you come from?

Kaira: (ignore Zetsu) OMG!!!! –squeal- KONAN-SAMA!!!! (hug Konan)

Konan: … (look freak out) (who won't be if some one you don't know hug you)

Suki: oh, I see… (look at Zetsu) Kaira, I think there an over grown green bean in your living room.

Zetsu: I am not an over grown green bean

Suki: You sure look like one. You green.

Zetsu: … (wonder if he should eat Suki or not)

Kaira: -still squeal- OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! It Konan-sama! OMG! OMG! OMG! And she here in MY living room! OMG! OMG! OMG! I'm hugging her! OMG! OMG! OMG! I'm talking to her! OMG! OMG! OMG! And I think I'm going to faint! (fainted in Konan's arms)

Konan: … (dropped crazy hyper weird girl)

Suki: (make weird face like Matt from Heroes) YOU can't eat me!!!

Zetsu: (weird out by the weird face and the fact that Suki know what he was thinking) And why not? (decided not to ask how she know he was thinking that, since it much safer. But oh how he thought wrong)

Suki: (declared happily) BECAUSE (drum roll) I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!!! (evil laugh)

Konan: …O.o…

Zetsu: …. (turn greener and fainted)

Kaira: (still fainting) (mumbles) Mama, nooooooo!!!

Pein: (sitting leg cross, lady-like sipping tea, wearing a tea ceremony dress and talking to Alice , the Hatter, the March Hare, and the Dormouse from Alice's adventures in Wonderland in british accent) Oh mind marverlous!

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O.o…..

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Yeah….

Suki is actually my best friend from school. And she also have an accout on FanFiction. Net. Sorry if I had offense you with anything from this chapter. I adore Konan. She cool and kick butt.

Also the Television show 'The Parkers' is real AND funny . It where I got my line "Mama, noooooo!!!" from.

So….

xXKaira-himeXx: PEOPLE **REVIWE!!!** It easy really. Just clickyy below!!!!

**NO FLAMING!!! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Chatting with the Akatsuki **

Chapter Four

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Disclaimer: I do NOT own anything from Naruto

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**Torture Zone **

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Pein, Konan, Zetsu and Suki are in the torture Dugan—um basement.

Pein: (look at Suki) where is that crazy friend of you're?

Suki: (watering a plant) IDK.

Pein: Ok

Zetsu: What are you doing?

Suki: (grinned happily) Watering plant

Zetsu: that not a plant…

Suki: (stop watering) (look at Zetsu) Huh? (Look at plant and look at Zetsu) Dumditly! It **IS** a PLANT.

Zetsu: (twitch) I'm NOT an 'IT' or a plant. THAT MY HEAD, WOMAN!!!!

Suki: Duh!

Pein: I'm hungry

Konan: (look at Pein) what do you want me to do about it?

Pein: Make me a sandwich!

Konan: (magically took out bread and smoke turkey) (put turkey on Pein's head and then the bread) There! (Went back to reading a book)

Pein: (sweat dropped) that not what I meant…

SLAM

(Door to the basement open)

Kaira: (walks in happily with bags in hand) Hiya, people of my other people!!!!

Pein: wth?

Konan: (ignoring Kaira and still reading)

Zetsu: (still wet) (rocking back and fort in the corner) I am not a plant. I am not a plant. I am not a--- (a plant bloom on top of his head) PLANT!!!! WAAAHHHH!!!!

Kaira: (look weird at Zetsu) what happen to him?

Suki: it the time of his month

Kaira: (look understandingly) Ooohhh

Suki: (jump up and down happily) what you got?! What you got?! What you got?! What you got?!

Kaira: (grinned and started jumping up and down) I don't know! I don't know! I don't know! I don't know!

Everyone: (sweat dropped)

Suki: The phone is ringing

Zetsu: The phone is not ringing

Kaira: Yes it is

Zetsu: No it NOT

Suki and Kaira: YES IT IS!!!

Pein: (twitch) STOP YELLING!!!

Konan: (sweat dropped) you're yelling

Pein: (growl) Forget this! I'm going upstairs. (Stomped upstairs)

Konan: (throw book on table) I'm coming to Pein (Followed Pein)

Suki: (looks at Zetsu) The phone is ringing

Zetsu: No it NO—

(Phone Ringing)

Zetsu: (sweat dropped)

Kaira: (pick phone up) Ello?

Voice: Hello, un. Can I speak to—

Kaira: (throw phone at Suki's head) It for you

Suki: Ow!(rub bump) (Pick phone up) Hello!!!

Voice: Hello, un. Can I speak to—

Suki: (squeal loudly) DEIDARA-KUN!!!!!!

Deidara: (sweat dropped) Umm…how do you know it was me, un?

Suki: (giggle) I love you (sigh dreamily)

Deidara: (look freak out) Bye! (Hang up)

Suki: Hello? (Look at phone and cry) NOOOOO!!!!

Kaira: OMG!!!!

Suki: What? What? What?

Zetsu: (come back from his 'corner') what is it?

Kaira: It a book!!! (Hold book high in hand and waved it)

Zetsu and Suki: (sweat dropped) we see.

Boil: (pop out of no where) Hey there sexy!

Kaira and Suki: (cringe) EWWW!!!

Zetsu: B-boil?

Boil: (look at Zetsu) you call?

Zetsu: (look freak out) who named their kid Boil?

Kaira: (point at Zit and Pimple) they do. (wave) Hello Mr. Zit! Mrs. Pimple!

(A/N No offense on the boil, zit, or pimple. I'm trying to make fun of those who do.)

Zetsu: (sweat drooped) I should have known

Mr. Zit and Mrs. Pimple: (popped)

Kaira, Suki, and Zetsu: EWWW!!!!

Boil: Don't worry, that their greeting. They eventually will pop back.

Kaira: (glare and gross out) what do you want?

Boil: You sexy

Suki: Lol (point at Kaira and sing) He want you! He wants you! Ha! Ha!

Zetsu: You people are freak

Kaira: (twitch) GET OUT!!! (pointed at Boil then the open door)

Pein: (from upstairs) STOP YELLING IN THE HOUSE!!!

Konan: (sweat dropped)

Boil: (put hand up in defense) Jeez, okay! Okay! Okay!

Suki: (still laughing her head off, literally)

Zetsu: O.o

Kaira: (still twitching) Well?

Boil: Can I borrow a book for a book report?

Kaira: (sighed) what kind you want?

Boil: (smiled what he though was sexy) you baby. All I wants is you.

Kaira: (twitch)

Zetsu and Suki: (laughing) PICK UP LINES!!!

Boil: (smirked) well?

Kaira: (smiled sweetly) Okay

Boil, Zetsu and Suki: (look surprised) REALLY??!!

Kaira: (smiled) Yep! You are about to read a book that my foot wrote. It called **'On the Road, to in Your Ass'** (look piss and yelled) **IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR ASS OUT OF MY BASEMENT!!!! **

**END OF CHAPTER FOUR**

Yeah…sorry if it short or if it wasn't that funny or if I offended anyone…

The **'Make me a sandwich'** thing really did happen to my older cousin but instead of **'Make me a sandwich'** it **'makes me a pop tart'**…heh heh heh… I actually take a tart and pooped on my annoying step-cousin head. She my age so don't worry!

Also Boil is really a nick name for a boy in my class that all the boys gave to him, but not Mr. Zit and Mrs. Pimple. Heh heh heh. He also likes me and keeps asking me out though. He my friend but I do NOT like him like that.

Okay, you do NOT need to know my love life so…onward!!!!

Plus the '**you are about to read a book that my foot wrote. It called 'On the Road, to in Your Ass' (look piss and yelled) IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR ASS OUT OF MY BASEMENT!!!!'** part did really happen.

Lol! It did happen with me and my older step-cousin. He really pissed me off that time. His face was priceless and red. His friends were there with us. I got in trouble with my aunt afterward, since they could hear from the yard. Lol, I didn't know that I was THAT loud!

Heh heh heh. Anyway the basement door was one and there little kids playing at my aunt's yard with the neighbor's kids. But it was totally worth it. Now we okay. Me and him get along pretty well, then me and his younger cousin, who is my age, but she act like a female dog.

Yay!!! Deidara appears!!! Well, only a small role, but he will be appearing more in the later chapters along with the rest of the Akatsuki!!!!

Chapter five coming soon…If you people care that is…

And again…sorry the chapters are so short…I think….

And sorry it took so long to update

So…See you later!!!

And Remember

**R&R**

**No flames!!!**

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	5. Chapter 5

**Chatting with the Akatuski **

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**Chapter Five **

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Desclaimer: I do NOT own anything on Naruto or DeathNote!!!!

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**Basement**

**(Dugan Zone)**

Kaira: (Watching T.V on the couch) Hey Suki?

Suki: (On the floor) (Reading a manga) Yeah?

Kaira: I just realized something.

Suki: What?

Kaira: (blankly) I'm bored.

Suki: (Sweat dropped)

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**Upstairs**

Deidara: What are you doing, un?

Pein: (look at Deidara) Shhhh

Zetsu: …

Pein: (Doing something to the poor defenseless door to the Dugan Zone)

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**(Dugan Zone)**

Kaira: (Still watching T.V) what was that?

Suki: (Still Reading Naruto manga volumn 45) What was what?

Kaira: Oh, nothing.

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**Upstairs**

Pein: (Done what he was doing to the door) There!

Deidara: (look confused) Huh, un? What going on, un?

Zetsu: (Ignore Deidara) It nothing going to work, Leader-sama.

Deidara: What not going to work, un?

Pein: (Ignore Deidara) (Glare at Zetsu) don't jinx it, Plant boy!!!

Deidara: (Wave) Hello, un!!??

Zetsu: (ignore Deidara) (angry mark) I AM NOT A PLANT BOY!!!!

Deidara: (Stiff back a laughter) P-Plant boy, un?!

Zetsu: (Got teary) I may be green, who look like a plant doesn't mean I'm a Plant Boy!!! (Sniff) I do have feeling too!!! (Cry) (when to 'Zetsu' corner')

Deidara: Wth?

Pein: (state flatly) It the time of his month

Deidara: 0.o

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**(Dugan Zone)**

Kaira: (Still watching T.V…with chips!!! XD) Did you hear that?

Suki: (still reading manga volumn 45) (sigh) I don't hear anything for the 5th time Kaira!

Kaira: Maybe you need new ears

Suki: (Panic) how did you know I needed a new one!!! (Point accusingly at Kaira) STALKER!!!

Kaira: (sweat dropped) Alright, so you didn't hear it.

Suki: (Back to normal) No, why?

Kaira: (stop watching T.V) (Look at Suki very seriously) I thought I hear Plant-Boy crying because Piercing-Boy called Plant-Boy, Plant-Boy, because Plant-Boy was jinxing something that Piercing-Boy was doing, so Piercing-Boy told Plant-Boy to shut up and now Plant-Boy is crying in his 'corner', yep! (Smile)

Suki: (Shock) H-how did you know that?

Kaira: (smile) I know this because…. (drum roll) I AM A GOD!!!! (Light shining on Kaira)

Suki: No, seriously.

Kaira: (teary) Why wouldn't you, my best friend, believe me!!!!!

Suki: (Ignore Kaira) (smile) Ohhh, nice light!!! (Wave at light) Hi pretty, shinny light-san!!!

Light: (Glare at Suki) Do you know who I am?!

Suki: (smile) Yep!!! You're pretty, shinny Light!!!

Light: (Glare) NO!!! (Take out the Deathnote) I AM GOD!!!! NOW DIE!!!!! (Evil laugh)

Kaira: (stop crying) (glare) NOOOOO!!!!! (Tackled Light)

Light: (dropped notebook) (glare up at Kaira) Who do you think you are!!!

Kaira: (smile) That easy, silly Lighty!!! I AM A GOD!!!! (Glare) I WON'T ALLOW YOU TO KILL SUKI!!!!

Light: (Glare evilly and smirked) Oh, really?

Kaira: (Smile) Yep!!!

Suki: (happy) Oh, Kaira!!! I'm so thankful you're my best friend!!!

Kaira: Only I could kill her

Suki: (smile dropped) I take it back! (cross arms) Hmp! Meanie! (Stick out tough)

Ryuk: (Chuckled) My, humans are amusing.

Kaira: (Gasp) (jump off of Light) (point at Ryuk) Y-y-your…!!!

Ryuk: (grin) scare?!

Light: (stood up) (dust himself) (smirked) we can't have two god in this world, now could we? (levil augh) Time for you two to die. (Take out the death note)

Suki: Hey! Why do I have to die!!?? I'm not a God!!! She is!!! (point at a shock Kaira) Not me!!!

Light: (smirked) the more the merrier.

Kaira: (still shock) Y-your….!!!! (froze)

Ryuk: (sweat dropped) Geez, I'm not that scary!

Suki: You can't kill us!!!

Light: (pause) And why not??

Suki: (look around) Um… (thinking) Err…(Ding!!) I got it!!! You don't know our names!!! Ha!!

Light: (smirked) (Point at the wall)

Suki: (Look at the wall) (sweat dropped with angry mark) Who the hell write that on the wall!!!!

Wall: 'Property of Kaira and Suki!!!' How should I know? I have no arms or legs. I'm not even alive.

Suki, Light, Kaira, and Ryuk: O.o

Suki: Did you just talk?

Wall: My mouth are moving and words are coming out.

Kaira, Suki, Light, and Ryuk: O.o

Wall: (sigh) People these day. (Clear throat…O.o) (Dream voice) Oooo, this is not real. It a dream. When you blink, you will wake up.

Everyone: (Blinked)

Wall: (sweat dropped)

Kaira: (look at everyone) Whoa! I had the weirdest dream ever!!!

Suki: (gasp) Me too!!!

Light and Ryuk: (sweat dropped) Are they serious?

Kaira and Suki: I dream that we were talking with Light, Ryuk, and the Wall!!!

Kaira: O M G!!!

Suki: Totally O M G!!!

Wall: (sweat dropped) Boo!

Kaira and Suki: AHHHHH!!! T-talking Wall!!! (Faint)

Wall: (shook head) Bye! (Disappear into the wall O.o)

Light: (Sigh) Lets go Ryuk. Our job is done.

Ryuk: Awe, Light!

Light: (throw apple into the magically pop out of no where portal)

Ryuk: (tough hanging out) Apple!!! (Ran into the portal) Woof!!!

Light: (Sigh) (walks into the portal)

**(The portal closed) **

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**TBC **

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Ahhhhhhh!!!!! So how was it???!!!! Random? No? Yes? What, What, What??!!! Review people!!! Come on, show some Love!!! Sorry if I offensed anyone!!!!

No Flames!!!!

I'll be glad to except NEW, FUNNY and RANDOM ideas for the next chapter from you readers!!!!


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